MINDFUL OF MEDICINE

My husband J and I were lucky enough to have met each other four years ago. Within a month we fell so in love and decided to pursue a life together. Sure we were only 20 and still in college, but we were absolutely certain that we couldn’t live without each other. And now we’ve been married for nearly three years. After two-and-a-half years of being long distance we finally moved in together right before I started med school & he started his masters program. Living together and starting the “adult” chapter of our lives was really exciting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see their best friend all day every day?

It was during that first semester of living together that it hit us: we want; No, we need a baby. Of course it was somewhat of a silly idea. After all, we were only 22 and definitely didn’t want to compromise our future, or the well-being of a baby by not being able to provide all the things a child needs & deserves. Nevertheless we couldn’t shake the desire to have a baby of our own. We had openly discussed the topic of children since the very beginning of our relationship - how many, when, girl names, boy names, what sports they’ll play, will they be a doctor like mommy or an engineer like baba? And hopefully one day that dream of ours will come true.

At that time in our lives we knew a baby wasn’t a responsible choice for us, but we knew that we had so much love to give and we wanted to be able to care for and love something together. It was also a spiritual decision in that, religiously, there are good deeds for showing kindness toward any living creature. So one day during my second semester I was searching local dog breeders when I came across a listing that sold mostly yorkies. I thought a yorkie would be practical, small and easy to care for so it seemed like a good place to start. I sent J the link and he suggested we go check them out. That weekend we drove up to the breeders house. Under a pile of loud yorkies laid a shih-tzu* puppy with the sweetest face in the world. He was so meek amidst 5-6 crazy little yorkies and seemed to not mind that they were jumping on him and using him as a stool. I knew immediately that he belonged with us. Funny enough, I found out later that my husband had seen a picture of him on the breeder's site and wanted him but didn't mention it because I had been so insistent on a yorkie, lol. But this little puppy was so calm and sweet that the name we had chosen for him before even meeting him was perfect: Melo, short for Carmelo...specifically, Carmelo Anthony. At 2.5 lbs, Melo was the smallest thing we have ever fallen in love with.

[caption id="attachment_128" align="alignright" width="300"] The day we brought Melo home[/caption]

I knew having Melo during med school would be challenging. Up until we brought him home I had been attending lectures in the mornings instead of podcasting. But that all changed. I knew he needed to be potty trained and taken care of. At only 8 weeks old he was basically an infant. I decided to stay home and podcast all of my lectures so that I could spend more time with him. I still attended my required lectures, clinical sessions and other club / research meetings, but most of my days were spent studying from home with Melo. It kills me to leave him at home alone and I honestly would not have gotten him if I had not been absolutely sure that I would be able to give him the attention and love he deserves. It took Melo about 2-3 months to be fully potty trained. And though he had a few accidents here and there, the hard work of training him really paid off.

[caption id="attachment_129" align="alignright" width="156"] Potty training is tiring[/caption]

Switching from attending lectures to podcasting was probably the best thing I did for my time management goals and I wouldn’t have done it without Melo. My current day-to-day schedule with Melo goes a little something like this. At about 7:45am I take Melo on a 1 mile walk which is just enough activity to get him to nap for a few hours in the morning while I do my most intense studying. That means doing my daily firecracker questions (~200) for about 2 hours followed by 1-2 hours of podcasting at 2x speed while I’m on the elliptical. In the afternoon I typically review first aid and flag some more topics on firecracker. In the evening I review topics from previous weeks. I think having Melo has made me more efficient and more conscious of how I’m spending my time. It has also taught me to take breaks and relax, usually by taking him out to the yard to walk around or play fetch for a bit while I get some fresh air. On days when I have to be gone for a few hours I make sure to tire him out before I leave so that he can sleep. If I have an extra-long day ahead, which doesn’t happen often, J will come home during his lunch break and walk Melo.


Balancing med school with having a dog is doable and has brought me so much joy and balance overall. When I begin my third year rotations in June I won’t be able to be home as much as I’d like so we will be getting a new puppy to add to our family so that Melo has a little buddy to play with!

It is crazy to think how much Melo has grown in the year that we’ve had him. He has such a big personality and is truly the love of our life. He’s taught us so much about what it means to love a creature so much that you would do anything for them. He has also taught us a lot about ourselves as partners and valuable lessons about patience, being observant and being present. We hope that these lessons will make us better parents to Melo and to our future children.

* Melo later turned out to be a pekingese / shih-tzu / lahsa apso mix which we discovered through DNA testing. We are actually relieved to know he was a mix and is healthier because of it. The breeder was, surprisingly, cooperative and we resolved the issue financially. Later I googled her name and it turns out there were many fraud claims against her business so be sure to do your research before buying a puppy!

Can empathy be taught? Yes and no.

Even when I was just a kid, whenever I heard about a tragic act of violence I would think - “Please, don’t let the person who did this be one of us.” For my family and my community it specifically meant mexican / hispanic / black / an immigrant / undocumented / brown. For a child to acknowledge that the actions of one person could falsely condemn a whole community, while internalizing a fear that it may affect one’s own life, speaks to the cultural and political climate that we Americans grow up in.

Growing up in Arizona as a first generation American was definitely interesting. It is a border state, and one of the most vicious when it comes to its political vitriol. It’s a very unique dynamic to grow up in. I am brown, I have dark hair, I “look Mexican.” As an adult I have pride in these things. But as a kid I learned to internalize these traits as less than favorable, and even learned to hate them. When you’re just a kid you don’t really comprehend the things your parents go through. You don’t understand why your mom was so profoundly upset at something that happened in line at the grocery store. You don’t understand why she is angry that a white woman made her leave the gym pool with three little ones in tow. You don’t understand why the people she works for look down on her. Hell, you don’t even realize that they look down on her. But you know something isn’t right.

Like many children of immigrant parents, I saw my parents work so incredibly hard to provide a childhood for me and my sisters that was infinitely better than what they ever had. I feel guilty for not comprehending what my parents did for me at the time. My mom especially. For 30 years she has worked cleaning houses and it has cost her parts of her health. But why did she do it? For us. I wish I had been able to comprehend the immensity of her sacrifice when I was a kid so that I could have appreciated her even more. As an adult I feel guilt. That heavy, thick kind of guilt. Because of her I am able to worry about seemingly petty things - about time management, about what specialty to choose, or what my sister should name her dental practice. My mother always told my sisters and I - “You have to get an education because no one can take that away.” And so, as a child, I learned that I had no excuse but to get educated and be a successful person because the road was paved for me in the struggles of another. I learned that in order to escape a stereotype I had to distinguish myself in some way. And since you can’t change people’s opinions about your community, you have to change yourself in hopes that it has some significance, right? You hope that you can become an exemplary citizen whose contributions dispel prejudices about your community. You hope that you can change minds for the better. And so you start university thinking that you’re one step closer to making a difference by separating yourself from what the majority hates. But you’re wrong. I was wrong. Becoming an educated citizen of the world was a step closer to understanding the infinite suffering of others around the globe and feeling lucky but utterly useless all at once.

Becoming a Muslim brought me immeasurable peace at a time where I thought I would not have long to live, and continues to push me to be the best version of my self in hopes of bettering the world. Becoming a Muslim came with a lot of responsibility: praying five times a day, fasting during the month Ramadan, giving back in charity, and just being a good person. But what I didn’t know is that it also came with a new level of social responsibility: to shatter stereotypes about muslims, to denounce the marginalization of the muslim community by the mainstream media, to work towards disproving political leaders who use the defamation of the muslim community as a means of cheap political gain. As a child I learned that the actions of one do not define the whole, and now as an adult and a muslim this lesson is more important than ever. Was the education and success I sought out and achieved enough to distinguish myself and my community, or is there more to be done? There is always more.

The deaths of Deah Barakat, his wife Yusor Abu-Salha, and her sister Razan Abu-Salha this week are monumentally tragic and are a product of the American culture of hate that is propagated widely and shamelessly. This atrocity fundamentally strikes me not because I am a Muslim or an ethnic minority, but because I am a human. As a medical student this breaks my heart. Deah was a second-year dental student who, with his wife Yusor, gave back to their community at home and abroad. Yusor would have started her first year of dental school this August. They had a promising future and would have impacted the lives of many. I pray that my future children live the way these three did. My heart aches. It aches because this could have been me, my sisters, my friends. They are all of us. The world has lost three young leaders in a senseless act of hate. They were educated, bright, compassionate, exemplary young people who had incredible lives ahead of them. They had achieved everything I grew up thinking would keep someone safe from the hate and discrimination of others. They had distinguished themselves and were truly exemplary in their character, yet their lives were still taken.

Regardless of what community one is part of, we all have a duty to uplift the downtrodden and show solidarity with those who are marginalized whether they are in our city or across the world. So, can empathy be taught? Yes and no. Humanity is a prerequisite of empathy, it cannot be taught because it is already a part of us. The human soul cannot see suffering and not feel compelled to relieve it; it cannot see tragedy without the need to seek justice. It is our humanity that gives us the ability to empathize with the struggles of another. The experiences in our lives simply solidify this and teach us how important it truly is. To deny our ability to empathize and show solidarity with our fellow humans is to deny our own humanity. It is our responsibility as fellow humans to work, with sincerity in our hearts, towards a better world. Towards a present and future where no child inherently knows that they are part of a marginalized community where they will have to work to distinguish themselves from a stereotype; where no child has to grow up fearing that their life could be taken because of what they look like or how they worship.

☮♥

For you ladies out there who have gotten an interview (congrats!) or are simply thinking ahead, another dilemma awaits you: what do you wear? You’ve probably read blogs or forums giving you the basics on interview attire for women. I, too, read these and was still pretty confused. Honestly I was a little jealous of how easy the guidelines were for men. So hopefully I can help with a few do’s and don’ts of what to wear to your med school interview.

Whether we like it or not, our first impression is important. A clean, put-together look is imperative. A look that isn’t professional or even worse, sloppy, will hurt you. A friend / classmate of mine and I were discussing this topic recently. She had been interviewing prospective students at one of our interview days and was shocked at how much the initial physical impression affected the rest of the interview. Your interviewer should not be distracted by your appearance. On the contrary, your first impression should be a positive one so that the rest of the interview can focus on what you’re saying, your strengths as a person, and why you’ll make a great future physician.

Dress professionally. You will likely end up wearing some kind of suit, either a pantsuit or a skirt suit. Whichever you choose doesn’t really matter as long as it suits your shape and you feel confident. East coast interviews tend to be more “traditional” and it is common knowledge that a skirt suit is preferred for women. Personally, I wore my pantsuit on my East coast interviews because I prefer them. Bottom line: pick a suit style that fits your personal style and comfort level - you’re going to look great regardless. Great places to look are Dillards, Macy’s, Express, Banana Republic, J Crew. I got mine from Express, similar here. Although I chose to wear a black suit, other colors are options as well. As long as you keep it simple, grays and dark blues can look amazing.

As far as a blouse is concerned, choose a color that won’t be distracting. Most people opt for white. I personally chose a white silk blouse with black lining. In retrospect, I wish I had worn a color that I liked instead of what I thought was expected.  However, if you know you look amazing in a more bold color go for it. You can always maintain a professional look while staying true to your personal style.

Heels. Even if you’re an expert in walking in heels, try to keep your heels under 3.5 inches. You will likely be walking a lot during your interview day and you want to be as comfortable as possible. Remember, you want to be your best that day and painful heels will definitely distract you. I loved the heels I wore on all of my interviews, but made the mistake of not breaking them in before my very first interview. It was awful - so many blisters! I wore them to all of my interviews and still use them for clinics or conferences. Investing in a good quality heel will pay off in comfort, style, and longevity.

Flats + Wedges. Though heels are more common along the interview trail, flats are certainly a great alternative. To be honest, half way through most interviews I was pretty jealous of the other interviewees in flats or wedges. If you do choose to wear flats with pants make sure the pants are short enough so they won’t be dragging under your shoes.

Hair + Nails. Keeping your hair simple is key. If your hair is long or you find that it gets in your face often, consider pulling it back into a ponytail, bun, or half-up. I have pretty long hair that falls in my face so a half-up style worked best for me, and kept me from messing with it. Nails are another area where simplicity pays off. A clean, trimmed set of nails goes a long way. If you choose to wear nail polish, go for clear or quieter colors.

Makeup. Less is definitely more when it comes to makeup. Makeup routines vary so much from person to person so it’s completely up to you what products you decide to use, but the overall goal is to be natural, put-together and clean. A fresh face, some mascara and subtle lip will go a long way. If you’re looking for inspiration, there are thousands of tutorials on YouTube, like this one.

What you wear on your interview is all about being able to feel comfortable and confident. Once you’re offered an interview you are that much closer to an acceptance. It’s a time to show why you’ll make a great fit, so it's important to make a lasting impression. It’s also important to stay true to your personal style because buying pieces that you’ll be able to use in the future is so important, especially since we are all poor students with crippling debt :). Overall, don’t let anything on your interview day distract your interviewers from what is really important: you.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

This was a very busy week for me. On top of block and board studying, I attended a conference where I presented my current research. It was my first conference and it was an oral presentation so it was definitely a bit stressful. It went well, however, and I really enjoyed getting to spend some time with my friends who also got to present. As a med student you know that your peers are smart, but you forget how brilliant they are sometimes. Watching my friends present their incredible research was really exciting. It was also really fun to spend some time at the beach (because we tried to study there but obviously couldn’t get a whole lot done, lol).

In late January we had submitted our preferences for our third year clerkship schedules. Third year clerkships or “rotations” are where you get to use all of the endless information you acquired your first two years of med school and apply it to the clinical setting. It’s also a time where you solidify what your interests are and what specialty you’ll choose to pursue. On top of all of the fun exploratory stuff, you still have to perform at your best in order to be evaluated highly and be worthy of your attendings’ letters of recommendation for residency applications. That sounds like a lot, but I’m really looking forward to it. After all, I’ve been in a lecture-based setting my whole life and this is the next step towards becoming a physician.

My school offered a choice of 16 pre-arranged “tracks” that we could choose from. We were asked to rank all 16 tracks and then submit our list in order for a lottery to be run. It was rather stressful because clerkship order is important, and getting a track that you weren’t totally fond of wouldn’t great, though you could certainly make it work. The only piece of advice that we were given is to make sure what you’re interested in is not first or last. That still leaves a lot of questions. I scoured the internet for other med student blogs that might offer insight on what the “best schedule” was, but it varied. I also asked a few of my friends that are residents or current third/fourth years. I found this resource to be the most helpful.

Though I don’t know exactly specialty I’m set on, I have a few that I’m interested in: surgery, peds, ob/gyn - in that order. With that I was able to look for tracks that would keep these three somewhere in the middle and definitely not first/last. I had also been told that in order to do well on on the surgery shelf exam, a strong background in internal med is a great starting point. I know for sure that I’m not interested in internal med as a career, and since it is so fundamental for success in other rotations I decided to place internal med first.

A few of my friends and I submitted the same rank orders since we know we would work well together and also have similar interests. And lucky for us we ended up with our first choice!



As far as subsurgical specialty choices I’m leaning heavily towrads Ortho. I’ve had exposure to the fireld through an ortho elective and find it surprisingly interesting. We also have the option to choose a hospital setting or a private practice setting for a few clerkships. I’m considering doing ob/gyn in private practice because my friend (who is now an ob/gyn intern) had such a great experience doing that. Also, ob/gyn tends to be more of a malignant experience for medical students at my institution’s hospital so private practice seems like a better choice for me, especially if I’m looking to learn a lot and be an active member of the care team.

I’m so excited to start clerkships this June. I’m also looking forward to sharing my experiences regularly through this blog since insight into the clerkship experience online is pretty bleak.

Have a great week!