Why do you want to be a doctor?

It was never about a want for me. I always knew I was going to be a doctor - and you better believe I was ready to do whatever it took even if I was in elementary school. Did that mean running unopposed in 4th grade for class treasurer? Yes. Did that mean that I stayed up the night before elections to rehearse my speech and make posters? Yes. Was I a “cool” kid. Haha, no. But I was something: independent.

When I think about it, it’s kind of surprising that I even went to college. I attended elementary school in a lower-income area of the city where most of my classmates came from very poor households. It was clear that most teachers didn’t really push for long-term retainment by their general lack of enthusiasm. Nevertheless, I was lucky to find a few that really nurtured my learning. I didn’t have many friends and realized later that I was bullied pretty bad. I remember not sitting with anyone at lunch, then going out to recess to take a lap around the track. Either I was incredibly independent or I was in denial. I also weirdly remember crying in the bushes furthest away from the school building at lunch and then coming back to class when the bell rang as if nothing had happened. I don’t remember being sad, but the mind is an amazing thing and I’m sure I’ve just blocked it out. I haven’t really decided how to deal with those memories but I know one thing: I didn’t care what others thought. Though some people may take pleasure in watching their “enemies” fail, many of my school bullies didn’t make it through high school and some were teen mothers. It’s sad. I’m lucky that I didn’t become another statistic. I don’t know if it was by my own accord or destiny, but I like to think it was both.

In middle school and high school I switched school districts into a more affluent area. I downloaded and sent in the registration papers by myself - a crazy thing to do at 11 years old. It was here that I met friends that were more like myself. I finally found a space where intellect and academic achievement were not just the norm, they were cool. I really flourished during those years and thus began the mindset of preparing myself for college and what would eventually make me into a suitable med school candidate. Honestly, it is amazing what opportunities are made available to students based on where they come from. I learned a whole new meaning of privilege. But I also felt somewhat behind. Not academically, but rather in the kinds of opportunities afforded to different social classes. While my classmates had parents that guided the way to college and beyond I only had myself. My parents supported my decisions but it was up to me to forge my own path, seek out opportunities, and take them.

From elementary through high school I learned that independence from what others think of you is absolutely priceless. I also learned that in order to take advantage of every opportunity, I had to be proactive. Looking back I’m kind of impressed at how I was able to change my circumstances at such a young age. And even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I was asserting my independence and that's part of what medicine is about: confidence in yourself, your choices, and the ability to step back when you don't have the answers.