As I reflect back on finishing the first half of second year a few important things stand out.

This summer, as I was finishing up my summer research fellowship, it hit me - I was finally going to be an MS2. As a first year the MS2's seemed so wise, so "together." I couldn't believe how much more they knew than us wee, little MS1's - I mean, they had passed some pretty crazy blocks like neuro, cardio, pulm, renal, muscuoloskeletal and even part one of the gargantuan digestion&metabolism block. But, as a freshly-minted MS2, I realized I felt just as lost as I had the year before and significantly more intimidated by the material. That's not to say that I didn't feel like I had mastered a substantial amount of material, but rather that the responsibility of the block content was now paired with even greater responsibility - studying for Step 1. Now before a few of you gunners out there think, "well technically you should be studying for step 1 during first year," I should clarify. You should absolutely study with the thought of step 1 in the back of your mind from day 1. But the passage into second year makes that reality so much more tangible. And, at least for me, the challenge is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Clinically, we still saw patients once a week on the wards or emergency department. Armed with our iPads or notepads we marched down to our patient's rooms and took an extremely thorough history. We then proceed to take a focused physical exam - a step up from the full PE expected of us in first year. Because now, as full-fledged second years, we know what to focus on. Though the process of walking into a patients room and performing my expected tasks became smoother, the anxiety that I feel walking down the hall is still shocking to me. Even though I truly enjoy talking to each patient I see, the anxiety from the anticipation is something I still have to work on.

It's now winter break, though. And I took a few days to recover from the semester. I had big plans for those first few days but ended up doing absolutely nothing..and it was amazing. I guess you don't really notice how stressed you are until you take a second to breathe. I like to tell myself that I'm not stressed during my busiest times, and to be honest I don't feel stressed. Perhaps I've gotten to an expert level of stress management, or maybe it's denial. Either way I'm on break for three weeks and it's going to be awesome.